34. I am totally free to choose thoughts of joy.

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Choice about our thoughts can either destroy who we are or aspire us to be all that we can be.  I am very mindful about the thoughts that travel around in my mind and at times they can be destructive to self.  As soon as I catch myself doing this I hit the CANCEL, CLEAR, DELETE button. Why is it that we can be so totally harsh on ourselves?  It is absurd how we criticize the things we do, the way we look and this can go on for years before we notice and do something about it. I am totally aware of what I am projecting out to the universe and for me it is a reminder about choosing thoughts of joy when life is particularly tough.

I have written about my cousin lately. It has consumed my mind and thoughts since she took her own life and choosing thoughts of joy have been really f*&KN tough.  There are days where it feels more comfortable to be angry at the world and joy is the farthest thing from my mind. It is what I choose to do with these thoughts and feelings that make the difference. Generally I choose not to speak or interact with too many people when joy is not at the top of my list. I generally go for a run, write or simply feel what it is that I need to and let it out. Usually there are pent up tears that need to be released and I am good to go again. Nothing like a good old cry to make you feel better and is just as important as laughter.

So rather than feel like a total psycho and pretend to be happy and joyful when I am not I accept my vulnerability and allow the feelings to just me. To be perfectly honest I have worn too many masks for way too long and the idea of “pretending” doesn’t work so much for me these days.  I had a meeting yesterday for work and we spoke about grief, loss and connections in the community. One of the things that have been found is that most people won’t talk about the death of a person or even mention their name. They would rather talk about anything else but the white elephant in the room. As humans I find this behaviour to be quite interesting. As humans are we that afraid of feeling? Is feeling and exposing our vulnerability for others to see and feel such a bad thing? Perhaps if we were more honest and real with one another the number of mental health statistics wouldn’t be so high and parts of the population wouldn’t be so isolated. I could go on and on but they wouldn’t necessarily be thoughts of joy now would they and I would be a total hypocrite. So instead of complaining and whinging about what I perceive to be a deficit I can be encouraging and persistent in my pursuit of connectedness in the community in which I am surrounded. So rather than coming from a model of what does not happen I can now create an opportunity of I can. I am totally free to choose thoughts of joy. It is my Divine right to do so. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

 

 

33. I have the power to create all that I wish with my mind and my thoughts. I am truly someone special.

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Changing perception is something that I have been aware of and practising for quite some time now. It is also something that I write about on a regular basis. Still there are times where I struggle to find the perfect thoughts and I can fall into a slump. What is important is that I recognise this and know that what goes on inside my mind is what happens in my outer world. So if I have shitty and unpleasant thoughts then life attracts the same.

The last few months have been really challenging and somewhat tough. My aunt passed away and soon after my cousin committed suicide. Many years ago I myself lived with depression and know the feeling of wanting life to end all too well. Her death has left us with a heavy heart and immense sadness. About a week ago I had a healing and some of the fog dispersed and the sun is seeping through.  I can’t change what happened, nor can I go back in my mind about what could have or should have been. Rather what I do know now is that I have the power to channel the adversity of her death into something that is positive and a tribute to her legacy.

We are all special and unique. There is no one better than another and we all have the potential to light our own unique flame. The injustice that saddens me is the masses of people that live in places of the world where impoverishment is debilitating. So I am filled with gratitude with all that I have and this certainly gives me the power to create all I wish. In the meantime I can contribute to peace and justice in ways that I know how.

So when life presents with what we may perceives as challenges, heartbreak and grief they can also be filtered into creative potential and being of service to others through what we have learnt. The last few months has seen my life with more than a few endings. I can choose to see them as negative or I can experience them as growth and resilience. That doesn’t mean that I do not feel or that grief and sadness is not warranted, but what I do know is that it can be directed into other outlets rather than bitterness, resentment and anger. Today as I sit to write my blog my body is weary and a cold is approaching. For me it is about taking time to heal, nurture and refocus my life into all that I wish to create. I truly believe that the universe forces you to stop at times and just be. To just feel life for ALL that it is no matter what comes up. Yes there has been heartbreak and endings but it has also shown me love on a deeper level that I did not know before these experiences. I have the power to create all that I wish with my mind and my thoughts. I am truly special. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

32. Today, no person, place or thing can irritate or annoy me. I choose to be at peace.

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It is just as well that this affirmation has been presented to me today. I reckon if I had of been even a week ago I may have thrown the affirmation calendar out the window and been done with it. The truth is since the death of my cousin, life has been challenging and fragmented to say the least. To go back to what was is not something that is attainable as a life event such as this one changes you forever. One thing that I am able to connect to is my heart space and this is a constant. The thing is that when “stuff” and ego consumes our lives getting into our heart space can become more difficult than usual and basic survival is required. I can go on and on about stores and stuff but basically they get boring and what attracts me to life is to sort my shit out and to live with pure joy, peace, purpose and happiness.

People or places can only annoy or irritate us if that “thing” resides within us already. True story! Confronting to hear but totes is what our shadow shows us. It represents what exists within us already or simply what we have to heal. Our shadows can be our biggest and greatest teachers in life. It is when we fully embrace what belongs to us and are no longer ashamed of what it means is where strength and growth takes place. It is where the stretch happens and we deal with what is blocking us at the time. So the next time somebody annoys you or irritates you, take a step back, hold compassion in your heart and look for the place where that behaviour may take place in your life.

I know that there have been situations of friendships and situations where I have been triggered. Sometimes it may take me a while before I am able to identify the trigger but there is usually the “aha” moment where I own my stuff and grow from it. It is easy to say a person is this or that and at the time they very well may be. That is not to say that the action of another that has hurt you is OK but when an action has irritated or annoyed you it is because it needs to be released and healed. Quite frankly I am all up for thanking the person for showing me what I am no longer. So rather than putting your energy into the “story”, give thanks to the situation or person that has brought it to light, heal and move on.

A few nights ago I went to a Tantric Dance Session (no I didn’t dance around a room naked and have sex with random people) instead what I did do was choose peace and universal love. When my friend and I left the dance session we felt elated and high on life and love (no drugs or alcohol involved). What we did agree on when we left that we wanted to imagine and create for ourselves a life where the world was simply universal love, peace and justice. The feeling that was so imminent was that nobody or place could have annoyed or irritated me. Call me a dreamer, call me what you will but as John Lennon sings “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. But I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will be as one” Today, no person, place or thing can irritate or annoy me. I choose to be at peace. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

31. I release all resistance to attracting money. I am worthy of a positive cash flow.

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I just picked myself an “angel” card. The card was Serena “I am the Angel of Abundance. You will receive the money that you need, and God is in charge of how that will happen. Have faith” I sat down and flicked the calendar to today and surprise surprise there was an affirmation about cash flow. Yes Universe I hear you loud and clear. For me this affirmation and angel reading is about stepping up, onwards and upwards. Sure the affirmations is directed towards money and cash flow but this will only happen once I step into my own power and truly believe in myself. Playing small doesn’t serve me nor does it serve anybody else.

To be perfectly honest doing what you always done simply gets you what you always got and to be quite frank it’s shitty and dark. Sometimes shitty and dark is where you need to be.. If you don’t know what the darkness looks like you can never appreciate the light. So although the affirmation and angel card very well may be about money for me it represents so much more than that. If I am in my flow, my purpose .my heart space with compassion and love then money will come to me easily. If I choose to stay in the dark and shitty place then this is all that I will continue to attract. Getting out of that place is what is important. It is not to be judged because of a lot of good stuff and growth happens when we are in our darkness. What I always remember is the darker the darkness the brighter the light.

Ultimately is up to you what you do with your life choices and that will be the difference that you are in the world. You can continue to blame whatever and whoever but personal responsibility is what is most crucial. Some days you may be only able to muster getting out of bed and others you will conquer. There is no right or wrong but our lives are uniquely ours. Sometimes we detour for a while but I am firm believer that sometimes wading through the shit gets us to the magic that we need to see that perhaps we could not see before.

The last month for me has been dark and shitty. That is not to say that there may not be days where I may or may not feel this way. It is about choice to either stay there or pull myself out of there. Living in your heart space, allowing yourself to do what your soul yearns to do is a massive start, unconditional love and integrity is where the action takes place. We can allow ego to take over and for the parasites to infest our minds or we can say fuck ofsky, I have a life to live. So yes the affirmation today very well may have been about money and cash flow but is about so much more. Living life with ease, grace, truth and authenticity is where abundance resides. I release all resistance to attracting money. I am worthy of a positive cash flow. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste

 

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

30. I love experiencing every age. I rejoice in each passing year.

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I love my birthday. I love everything about it. I love being the centre of attention, (yup you heard right) and I love receiving presents. What I love most is I love celebrating me with people that I love and cherish. Too often in life we get caught up in our age and how quickly time passes. Sure it does. As the old saying goes, the older we get the quicker time does pass. For me personally time does seem to go by at a ridiculous fast paced rate, but it is what we do with that time that makes the most difference. More importantly it is the way we feel and act towards our beautiful self that is the most sacred and important. Our world is simply a reflection of who we are. If we are able to see beauty in ourselves then we can see beauty all around us.

This morning as I plucked the excess hair from my eyebrows, I undeniably noticed the hair on my upper lip glaring back at me with the morning sun. I looked up around my face and noticed the white hair poking around. I rolled my eyes and started to groan at the reflection looking back at me. Then I stopped and caught myself at what I was doing. Sure I need a pluck and a wax but I shouldn’t have to start the day not liking at what I see in the mirror. So as I caught myself about to berate what I saw in the mirror I looked back and saw a beautiful wise woman.  So instead this is what I told myself and even though in that moment I may not have felt it entirely, the thoughts I had instantly shifted to being brighter and lighter.

I caught up with a friend this morning. Soul sisters are the mirrors in our lives and although they cannot pick you up, they sure can extend their hands and help lift you up. They sit by your side, hug you, laugh or cry with you and allow you to believe again when you can’t for yourself.  What came up the most and always does is the way we treat and loves ourselves, especially when there is “stuff” going on in our lives. I know for me in the last month I have not looked after myself nor I have been loving and kind on myself. My thoughts have been reckless and negative and I have chosen to recluse for a little. That is cool as long as I am recognising what it is that I am doing and do not choose to stay there.

So when I read the affirmation for today it was such an awesome reminder about loving me for who I am and all that I can be. To rejoice and celebrate in the magnificence of each year for it is truly a blessing that we have a beating heart. Who gives a F&(*K  if I have hair on my upper lip, eyebrows that need plucking and white hair. I am fabulously me and I love, honour and cherish ALL of me. Some days are tougher than others and that is cool. This is the fabulous learning of life and what joy it is. I love experiencing every age. I rejoice in each passing year. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

 

 

29. With the universe as my partner, I go from success to success. I share this harvest of good with others and we are all blessed.

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Far out I have struggled to be positive during this time of grief and perfectly so. My patience is limited and I find myself not being able to comprehend everyday nuances from people. My compassion for others right now seems to diminish at any given moment. There are times when my answer to what somebody has said is “are you f*KN serious u f**kstick!” but I understand that it is my stuff. I don’t respond as his is no longer how I choose to deal with my life. That is not to say that what another person has said is not completely ridiculous. It is simply not my place to judge rather to come from a place of compassion and recognise that this is their journey. I have been able to feel that there is pain, anger, sadness and grief. Some days I want to stuff it down with wine, food and ciggies but I know that it will just be there the next day. So for now I live hour by hour day by day and honour what is going on for me.

I find that there are people and situations that at this time I cannot be around. I am learning so much through this process and for now this is a time of rest, growth, learning and really listening to what is going on for me.  What I have found is those that are happy to be by my side during this time and just be. This is the value of unconditional love and I am so grateful and blessed for the space that some are willing to hold for me.  There are some people that I have hardly heard from or others that choose not to connect at this time and that is perfectly OK as well. It is almost like an apocalypse of a clean out of what is meant to be. I am cool with that. I know that what was once was will never be and right now that feels refreshing.

I stood in my kitchen earlier and was feeling miserably blah. There was a John Farnham song on the radio “hold me in your arms”. I got goose bumps and felt emotional and gave myself a hug. I also heard the universe whisper softly “I got your back” and I know it has.  Nobody or nothing can make me feel better, what is most important is how I manage each and every day and keep perspective on what is important and on purpose for me. So I went for a run (as much as I didn’t want to), felt blessed that I saw an old work mate that gave me the best hug, did some backing and got in touch with what was real. It doesn’t mean that I will never have a shitty day. Instead it creates more determination and focus on being of service, creating change and knowing that the universe works with me when I am coming from source and not my ego. With the universe as my partner, I go from success to success. I share this harvest of good with others and we are all blessed. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

28. I am a Divine conduit for transforming the quality of people’s lives.

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When I looked at the affirmation for today I wanted to flick it to tomorrow (and I did). The affirmation for tomorrow is about loving my job. I sat and pondered. I thought I could take the easy road, stay in my comfort zone or push myself to write today. It would be easy peasy lemon squeezy to write about loving my job because I simply do. As I sit here and think about the affirmation for today, I want to laugh sarcastically at myself and then I want to say to the universe, really??? I know that writing for me is one of the best creative outlets that I have and it grounds me to being real.

I was just speaking to my sisters a little earlier and we were speaking about my aunt and uncle that have just lost their dear daughter to suicide. It is almost coming up to three weeks now since she decided to leave our earthly realm and the sadness is overwhelming. There are times when I feel like I am gasping for air at the harsh reality that now lies before us. There are so many things that run through my head at any one given time and my emotions are all over the place. One day I want to change the world and the next I want to hide under the doona and pretend that it hasn’t happened. I am just rolling with it and honouring what it is that is going on for me.

So when I read the affirmation for today I thought about “stuff”. Sure I could have written about what I have done in the past. It would have been easy, but easy and comfort zone doesn’t get me anywhere. What I am aware of is the language that I am using. My aunt also passed away earlier this year and I caught myself saying today “what a shitty year it has already been”  In less than three months we have lost two family members but rather than saying it has been shitty I can choose to say that there has been death and sadness but so much more in between. Sure it has been tough but the focus of my intentions is what is important.

For my aunt, uncle and cousins I have no answers or saving grace for them. The pain that they now live with may be forever but I have to believe that there is a divine reason for all this happening. How do I be a divine conduit? The only answer I have is to be authentic and transparent. To always come from a place of love and compassion and to be still with them in moments when they cannot for themselves. Death has a way of allowing you to stop, breathe and really evaluate what matters most in your life. For me I know that this is an area of my life that I do appreciate and constantly review. Every day is a gift and it is how we choose to spend it that matters most in the end. Already there has been revelations in my life and what may have mattered before does no longer in the best possible way. To find gratitude for the abundance and goodness that I receive each and every day and beyond is the true blessing in life. I am divine conduit for transforming the quality of people’s lives. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

27. I take care of my body, my home, my workplace and all other areas of my life. I alone am responsible for myself.

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Life presents us with many challenges.  Some of the challenges are fun and some are ones that change us forever and our lives are never quite the same. It is ridiculously easy to blame other people and situations for “stuff” that happens. Instead of blaming, personal responsibility is the main factor in our lives. Sure we are presented with crap and in those times people situations and events can be more than overwhelming. We can choose to sit in victim mode and not do anything about it or we can create the change that we want to be in the world.

I live in Melbourne and lately there have been some not so nice events that have happened. There have been numerous attacks on vulnerable people and in some situations death. It doesn’t feel nice at all and as a normal reaction people have been going into blame mode. Blame of our justice system and simply blame for whatever. I am not by any means justifying what has been happening or nor do I think that it is OK. What I do know is that being compassionate and of service each and every other day is a way that I now choose to live my life. To make a difference, to create change and to live a life where I do believe and know that peace and harmony exists. If I keep putting out there how “fkt up” the world is all that I will attract is more of the same. Instead what I do is pray that people heal, I send love and I live with a compassionate heart and live with faith that more of the same will not happen.

So many of us go into meltdown, blame or anger when a crisis or tragedy hits home and it is a relatively normal reaction. What is important is that we do not live there. For the innocent 17 year old that was murdered in broad daylight a few kilometres from her home the injustice is heart wrenching. I have read and continue to read the hate towards the attacker and anger towards the justice system.  Peace and harmony begin with us. Are you always kind and loving? Do you treat complete strangers with kindness and respect? Are you of service to humanity? Do you come from a place of love and compassion in all your interactions? Are you authentic and do you live your life with integrity? Do as you feel with the answers. I am not claiming to be perfect; in fact I am happy to own that I am imperfectly perfect. What I do know is that it does not feel right to have an outlet to blame or to throw more of the same into the mix. I make a conscious decision every day to take personal responsibility about what happens in my life and what I attract. Sometimes the lessons are fkn hard and painful but at the very least I own them. So before hurling abuse towards another take a step back and ask yourself to be the change that you want to see in the world. I take care of my body, my home, my workplace and all other areas of my life. I alone am responsible for myself. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

26. I am always safe no matter which “doorway” I pass through.

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The affirmation that I am writing about today is actually the affirmation for Tuesday March the 17th.  As I began to write the calendar flicked to the affirmation for yesterday. I took it as a sign that this was the one that I was meant to write about today. It seems fitting as I sit here the day after the funeral of my cousin. I haven’t been able to write about since her death just over 10 days ago. She took her own life and what I can pray for is not only for her but for all of us is that we are all now safe as we are going through this next chapter, journey and doorway in our lives.

My cousin was 45 years young and a lot of her life was spent dealing with her issues of depression and a myriad of mental health issues. It doesn’t make it better or easier but what it does do is slap you in the face to know how harsh and real depression and suicide is. It has shaken our world in a way that we could not have ever imagined and life won’t go back to normal. Our experiences in life change us and quite frankly I don’t want to be dormant about the issues about mental health anymore. This doorway that I now pass through is one where life experience has changed and my world feels different.

It is about time that we all started to look after each other that little bit more, to extend our kindness and to come from a place of compassion for each and every person that we meet.  I try not to think about the things that I could, should or would have done for her. The decision was for her to make. For me right now there is some comfort knowing it was the one decision that she made for herself where she felt she had control. Many years ago I remember reading that people who commit suicide don’t want to die, they simply don’t see any other way out. I find some comfort in knowing that she has found her own inner sanctuary and is being loved and cared for by the 1000 angels that surround and heal her now.

For me my own journey of depression and mental illness is something that is I have been able to find so much strength and wisdom from. My wish is that each person that has lived with any type of mental illness is able to find their own gift that dwells within. To be able to find our own doorway to safety, no matter what happens in life. Without our darkness there is no light so in those moments it is where our gifts are unveiled. Sometimes we can’t do this for ourselves and for my dear departed cousin the feeling is so raw and intense that my heart feel irreparable right now. Perhaps a bit of it will always be a little broken because that was the way it was meant to be. Right now there are so many feeling and emotions happening that life the way it used to is no longer and that is OK as well. Life’s events define who we are and whether they are good bad or different they lead us to doorways of safety and growth. We are reminded to live life with compassion and kindness for all of humanity and that the spirit of community is one that should all be united to.  I am always safe no matter which “doorway” I pass through. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

25. I only work for people who respect and honour their employees.

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I can truly write this affirmation with every morsel of my heart and know how true this is and how blessed I am. Beside my computer sits a jar which was a gift from my boss who is also a cherished and dear friend. The gift was for Christmas and in it are bits of paper with things that my co-workers have written about me. They are beautiful compliments and words that have been designed to inspire and uplift me whenever I feel the need. Right now as I go through a time in my life which is difficult, I am filled with so much gratitude for such a simple idea that is truly heartfelt and real.

We are truly like a little family and we have so much honour and respect for one another and for all that we bring into each other’s lives. I can be my true authentic self each and every day and I know that I am loved and accepted unconditionally. Whether I am happy, sad, tired, grumpy or emotional I am so supported and for me this is one of the greatest gifts in my life.

We laugh; we share tears and so many other things in between.  What I love and respect the most is the support that we offer each other not only in our professional lives but our personal journey. The last month or so has been tough for me for a myriad of reasons and life continues to throw challenges that are to say the least difficult. What I know is the love and care that I am shown through these times and it fills my heart with so much joy and gratitude. They accept my premenstrual moods, my moments of crazy when I am being dramatic, my quirks and I know that no matter what happens I feel their unconditional love and support. They know when my buttons have been pushed; they know what to say at the perfect time and most importantly when I need a big fat hug to make everything better again. They know when my limits have been pushed, when I haven’t had enough sleep, when I am hungry and no matter what they always encourage me to be the best version of me.

I feel so lucky to have this support and know for me this is such an important part of life. They are truly my family who I love dearly and I know how much I am loved and appreciated right back. I am so grateful for the friendship, the laughter, the way we look after one another and for being in such an awesome place to work. I only work for people who respect and honour their employees. Blessed be and so it is and so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo