3.YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

01. Feb
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Beautiful, Lessons, Love,
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I tossed and turned about which affirmation calendar to write from today. I was possibly avoiding the one that I am writing about as it is a topic that I have struggled with for many years. One that constantly needs reaffirming and re connecting with. How grand life would be if we were simply taught how to love ourselves. Instead we are labelled and have a constant disposition to compare ourselves to others. We can often be our own worst critic and it sucks. I’ve just turned 41 and it took me a really long time to accept my inner goddess and beauty.

Ex partners didn’t necessarily help the cause either. I could sit and blame them for all the inappropriate things that were ever said but that would say more about me than it would them. I stayed in unloving relationships because I simply didn’t love myself enough to walk away. The lessons have been harsh and some have taken me years to unpack and really learn. It sometimes takes me a while.

It was only the other night when I was with a friend, in a public toilet where we decided to have a conversation about beauty. I am sure I looked super attractive in the wee hours of Sunday morning after having had a significant amount of white wine. I am super convinced we would have sounded really rational and coherent (not). My point is that even after all this time stuff still comes up about beauty. I know I am a compassionate, kind and loving person but I was never taught to feel beautiful. I was never called beautiful so when I hear it now I find it difficult to allow myself to hear it. After so many white wines, my beautiful girlfriend allowed me to feel into the crap that I had been burying. Ok so the scene may not have been the most eloquent but you know what, it worked.

So it has taken me such a long time to realise and understand what it means to be beautiful. It is not necessarily about being “pretty”. Anyone can be pretty, instead for me it is about recognising boundaries. Treating myself with kindness and compassion first and foremost, being of service to humanity. It is about not having to adhere or accept untoward actions of another. It is to know that it is not my responsibility but instead theirs to accept their own journey and fate.

So when I sit and write about the affirmation “You are beautiful” there is so much more that what we see, most importantly it is what we feel. It is not just teaching young women to feel beautiful but for all of humanity to feel beautiful within themselves. Imagine a world where this was possible. If we all felt and lived through beauty what a wonderful world it would be. You are beautiful. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxox

2. Blame is a neat little device that you can use whenever you don’t want to take responsibility for something in your life. It is the refuge of the externally oriented person.

Today I am writing from the calendar Every day Wisdom by Dr. Wayne D Dyer. I still am so saddened by his passing, especially because he was on my bucket list to meet. I could certainly blame him for dying or I could actually work on my bucket list rather than it being just a list in my home. The theme of personal responsibility has come up a lot for me especially in the first few weeks of the New Year. It is like the universe tried to cram as many life lessons as they could in the first few weeks juts to make sure that I got the message. I am hearing it loud and clear! So as I flicked the calendar to the date for today I felt compelled to write about this very issue that has been gnawing at me for weeks.

I have been dealt some really shitty behaviour in the last couple of weeks. It has been a crescendo of events that have eventually come to a head and the lesson is rewarding. However the action of another is simply disloyal and disrespectful. I am learning and as I like to see it a work in progress. I truly believe that we always continue to evolve and learn. I could certainly sit here and write 500 words about the actions of another person and their shitty behaviour and it may possibly make an interesting read. Instead I am learning the lesson and truly moving on. What is different this time for me is that I am learning about compassion for myself.

What I do know is that this behaviour that has been presented to me has happened for some time. Whether it has been from a partner, relative, friend, boss or colleague, I have allowed it to occur time and time again. I have felt compassion for the other person and understood that I have attracted that behaviour for a reason. I have also felt compelled to understand that the behaviour is not personal rather an indication of their own self-worth. I could go on and on but you know what I am boring myself with the story. I am done! Fuck off with your “need” to manipulate to make yourself feel better. My boundaries of self-worth and compassion far outweigh your insecurities and it is game over.

For me this has been a reoccurring pattern. It has been ever so subtle that at times I hardly recognised what was happening. Until it smacked me in the face and I was left with “are you kidding me?” My biggest lesson is that I have allowed this to happen for such a long time that I would rather send love and compassion for another being than deal with my own stuff of self-worth and compassion. Whilst I can still be loving and compassionate I no longer will allow my precious source of energy to be consumed by such distaste of behaviour. Energetically I have removed myself and funnily enough when I was saw the individual in question not even a salutation was exchanged on their part. I often ask the universe for those that are in their highest integrity to share my path so I know that they heard my prayer. I don’t blame the other person rather I can now thank them with love and compassion for the lesson I have been shown but the difference is I have now disconnected from them. Their healing is their own personal responsibility, not mine. Our paths may still continue to emerge for one reason or another but my own boundary of compassion of love for self is about standing in my own power of truth and integrity. I take back my power. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxoxo

1. SHOUT OUT TO EVERYBODY

So 2016 is already upon and it has moved in swiftly with a greater force than I anticipated. Day 14 of the New Year and I haven’t had a chance to sit, be and write. Today as I turned to my affirmation calendar for 2016 – 365 Days of Word to Inspire I came across this statement- SHOUT OUT TO EVERYBODY! So here I am. This year I have decided to just be in the moment of what is. To not have to think about what it is that I am going to write but to be totally guided by what I am feeling. On one side of my desk there is a calendar of words to inspire and on the other side there is a daily quote from the ever so admirable and honourable Dr Wayne W Dyer, a true hero. But for today it is a shout out to say that my blog still continues. It is about being real, authentic and being in the moment. It will always be about living with a compassionate heart, being of service and coming from a place of love even when I don’t feel like it.

I am going into my 3rd year of blogging and I would have to say that writing keeps me sane! It is my one true outlet that allows me to be free of whatever is trapped inside of my being. It gives me so much joy! It is an expression of what I sometimes can’t articulate and allows me to be in my truth with love and compassions. It allows me to unravel the intricacies of life and most importantly it makes me accountable for my own drama.

So whilst this blog is a “shout out to everybody” it is also a reminder about self-care. What do you do for self-care? What is your creative outlet? What do you do to unleash and unburden the gazillion thoughts that continuously stream through your mind? How do you let go of the pestering natter that goes on and on. I know for me it is so important and allows me to fill myself back up so I can give to others. Whilst my purpose is about making a difference and being of service, if I can’t love myself how can I do so for others?

For me this year is about play and fun! Life can be so serious sometimes and we can get so caught up in the mundane! F(*k that! There is so much living to do. So much exploring to be had, so many places to go! So as much as I have set my goals and aspirations for the year it is also a solid reminder to have fun, be cheeky, and reign in on some fairy fun! I know that in the last couple of days I have been having lots of belly laughs amongst the craziness and it has truly been the best medicine. So remember to smile because the world always smiles back. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxx

80. I am spirit, light, energy, vibration and love.

As the end of the year fast approaches it is an opportune time to reflect and as humans we want to start fresh, create new goals, and take a new direction. This year for me was filled with many life lessons, some were awesome and some were filled with pain and grief. Friendships severed and new ones have blossomed. New jobs have taken place and old ones have ceased. Family members have left our realm and new ones are being born. It is all part of being spirt, light energy vibration colour and love.

When I feel into what the year has been for me it is especially about growth and grief. I never really felt that the two could coincide but they have. What brings great comfort is feeling that our loved are also spirit, light, energy, vibration colour and eternal love. They never really leave; I believe they simply take on another form. They leave us messages and signs and it is what we learn from these experiences that live in our hearts forever and then some.

Our human bodies are simply a vessel in which we travel around from lifetime to lifetime. We are neither our bodies, nor the colour of our skin or the shape or size that our human form takes on. Rather it is what is inside of us that make us who we truly are. On that note what I also remind myself to understand is that we are all the same. This is particularly important when we have differences with another or when a drama has presented in our lives. We were all born from a being of light, energy, vibration and love. It is what we have been taught along the way that has allowed us to be the beings that exist at this moment.

At times we are ravaged with stress, drama, pain, grief turmoil. The list can go on and on. That is not to say that these feelings cannot exist. Of course they can and they do. Instead it is how they play out in our lives. We can manifest in the turmoil and the angst of the situation, or we can understand that we are all the same and leading to a path where we are able to return home to love.

I have had quite a few situations this year where I have been challenged by drama. It is a work in progress and compassion would have to be my biggest lesson. Sometimes it is the lesson of letting situations and people go and this can be really tough. It is to love yourself enough to know that you are worthy living a life of magnificence and bliss. The bumps and turns along the way make it an interesting read but it is important not to get caught up in the story. I know for me this affirmation is an awesome reminder to truly let go of the drama of the year that I have been hanging onto. It doesn’t mean that the action of another is less painful rather it is understanding that we all learn at different times and you choose how you wish the story to unfold. I am spirit, light, energy, vibration and love. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE love

Sonia

xxx

79. I put my hands over my heart and express love for myself. I especially embrace my inner child, and keep it sense of wonder alive within me.

24. Dec
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Child, Fun, Gratitude,
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It was the early hours of the morning before I got to bed. I had taken my mum for a pedicure earlier that night and got home and decided to start some Christmas baking before I went to bed. I was really tired but I know that when I bake it soothes and grounds me so I set out to make a tira mi su. I also made a sweet that my aunt used to make. She passed away earlier this year. Although there was some sadness I also felt really happy for her and her new found freedom wherever she was right now. I also reminisced in my heart about the lessons that she has taught me in my life. As I walked up the stairs and finally went to bed. I literally placed my hand over my heart and felt so bloody grateful for all that I was able to fulfil in one day. I had also been to a funeral earlier that day so I appreciated the contrast of life and death. I was filled with gratitude for my mum and having spent time with her. I had spent the afternoon with colleagues organising presents for children who otherwise would not have received any. I have shelter, an abundance of food, clothes and my health. I felt love.

Christmas brings about so many mixed emotions for people and I know I have personally whinged and moaned about the amount we consume each year and the crazy energy that is associated with Christmas. I have felt shitty, tired emotional and have already eaten way too much. So I am really grateful that I have taken the time to stop and reflect about what it is that I am truly grateful for at Christmas time and to remind myself about my inner child and the magic of Christmas.

As a child I loved receiving Enid Blyton books and “The Naughties Little Girl in School” series was a hit as far as I was concerned. God I loved books and reading so much. It was literally a world of my own where I was fully entrenched in every morsel of the world I was reading. So today as I write and reflect on Christmas Eve it is certainly about finding and retrieving the wonder and excitement of what Christmas is truly about.

Tension is high especially at this time of year and it is easy to get caught up in “stories” and “drama. I know it all too well. What gift is truly precious is to just be in the moment of the magic and miracles that surround us at each moment. I was just speaking to a friend earlier and a white butterfly flew by as we were chatting. These are the gifts of magic and wonder that in our ever so busy lives we miss and life fleetingly passes us by.

So thank you to my writing and to me for taking the time to sit and write today, to be reminded about the child like awe and wonder that is alive within us all. It may take a while or not to feel it but it is certainly there. Or if you are being a Grinch be a wondrous Grinch. Be whoever you would like to be. I put my hands over my heart and express love for myself. I especially embrace my inner child, and keep it sense of wonder alive within me.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxo

78. We are all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge and awareness we have.

The affirmation for today is one that comes to me at the perfect time. It is a reminder to be patient, kind and compassionate. A lesson that we can easily let slip by at the best of times. I have done a lot of work on self and the most freedom is that of personal responsibility especially when “stuff” is presented. Don’t get me wrong I am not claiming to be an enlightened guru that knows better than the next person, in fact I am learning more every single day. Quite frankly I would rather be learning than to be stale and righteous. What I am aware of and accept as part of my role as being human is personal responsibility and knowing that each situation that is presented is an opportunity to learn.

The last few weeks have been filled with growth. They have not been fun to say the least. What I have found is that there are times and situations where I just wish that individuals would take personal responsibility for their own “crap and insecurities”. When I am in “grumpy pants” mode my patience wears thin and I retreat into my head which in no fun at all. What my head is saying perhaps should not be translated to words that are actually delivered. Pretty sure it is better that way. As I continue to write I am stirred by the events. As much as I am willing to accept that we are all doing the best we can it also comes at a cost to humanity when people are simply mean and rude. It is not cool and my patience for those who don’t have awareness about personal responsibility really stirs my pot!

Now one could say that I am calling the kettle black and in some ways I certainly am. What I do know is that instead of blaming I am prepared to look within and facilitate for myself what my triggers are and where they have come from. What I do know is the crap that I was receiving and feeling were still parts of me that needed to heal from my past. It showed up in the most unexpected way and I am grateful to the person that delivered the lesson but it still doesn’t make it OK to be disrespectful.

So for me the affirmation reminds me about a couple of things. It is a reminder that the only person that has responsibility for the way we feel is self. Ultimately when we are triggered by another it is an opportunity to heal and grow from that experience. It is a timely reminder to be patient to those who act in ways that are not in alignment with love for they are still finding ways to love themselves. For me it also means that I now love myself enough to not take it personally and to know that my purpose it to live with a compassionate heart and to be of service. We are all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge and awareness we have. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxx

77. As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.

29. Nov
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Authentic, Blessings, Forgiveness, Responsibility,
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No Comments

Forgiveness is such an act of freedom. Too often we perceive forgiveness as a sign of weakness especially when somebody has caused us an injustice of some kind. When I write about my blog for today there are a few things that come up for me. One of them is the men that have played such significant parts in my life. What I have discovered is that just because you are “over” a situation it doesn’t mean that you don’t still have things that you may or may not need to learn from. I am not one to get into nitty gritty details about my life and talk about what others may or may not have done. It is not my style. What I do know is that some of the actions that have been displayed by men in my life have been shitty and not very nice. Yes I take personal responsibility for this because I allowed it to continue. F*&K I spent almost 20 years of crappy relationships but I did not know any better or different. Now I do and I can practise forgiveness.

So when I was confronted by a man recently with behaviour that was untoward, I wanted to tell him what a total tosser he was. I was really pissed at the universe because I just couldn’t understand why this was being presented to me. What did I have to learn? To top it all I also learnt that a friend lied about a situation. By this stage of the week I wanted to tell the world where to go. In the midst of it all, there were bit fat egos circling my days. I was attempting to be at peace with where I was at but I am sure if you listened closely you would have heard profanities mutterings coming from my area.

So what this is teaching me is that there is so many times in my life where people have treated in ways that I have not liked or deserved. The violin strings could come out right about now but instead I can reflect and acknowledge the times that I have not treated myself with dignity and respect. The amount of times that I allowed situations to occur again and again and now it was being presented to me in full force.

What is different this time is I am not the same person I may have been all that time ago. This time I have self-worth and respect but what I am able to acknowledge is the pain and hurt that was caused. There is nothing cool about emotional abuse, betrayal and coming from ego to make it better for the other person. When we sustain these kinds of relationships in our lives it is because our worthiness does not exist and the only way we know is to self-destruct.

The lessons of love are ones that are stemmed from forgiveness. Ultimately if we cannot forgive ourselves for our perception of where we have not lived our truth or have been authentic then we are in the mode of self-destruct. This energy and vibration put us in a place of ego and we do not feel and live the true essence of who we are. To the energy vampires that ultimately lead me to a place of trust, compassion and forgiveness, THANK YOU but for the sake of humanity take personal responsibility and deal with your crap! To my inner self I forgive you for not having enough respect and self-love to honour the scared path that I am walking at this time. I know that if I do not forgive then I can never really fully love. As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxox

76. I am grown-up and comfortable enough to ask for what I want in positive ways.

Oh universe you are extremely funny with the affirmation that I have been presented with today. I certainly know this is a lesson that has been on the forefront for me especially in the last week or so. I generally don’t have an issue with telling people what I feel but there are certainly occasions where I find it more difficult. I also truly believe that if you do not deal with an issue that has presented itself to you then it just transpires somewhere else at another time in your life. Just as it has in this instance and I knew that if I didn’t deal with it would just reel its ugly head in one way or another.

I was confronted with another little life lesson of dealing with an individual whose behaviour was far from appropriate. My natural instinct was to inform them that were a complete and utter tool. Possibly not the best outcome for either of us and I know better. As much as it feels great to swear profanities at this person in my mind, I have to admit I find it somewhat soothing. Instead I have churned about what to do; I have deliberated, meditated on the issue and felt that I had come up with a solution. What I didn’t consider first and foremost was that I am a grown up. This is not to judge but simply to acknowledge that this was something for me to learn and grow from.

What I did recognise along the way was the fact that I wasn’t dealing with it was making me feel agitated and unsettled. I found myself to be reactive and restless in situations as the forefront of the issue was becoming more obvious and apparent. This is why I love personal responsibility and how powerful and creative we can actually be when we acknowledge that we are responsible for our own actions and outcomes. Whilst I did find some of the issues that I was confronted with absolutely ridiculous and not in alignment with my core values and beliefs I really had to ask myself “what was this really about?” Sure I could have gone on a tangent and reacted to the information that I was receiving and that would have alleviated my stress for about 5 whole minutes or I could be a grown up and be comfortable enough to ask for what I want.

So thank you for the reminder of the affirmation today. As it worked out the universe presented a perfect opportunity for me to say what I felt. I must admit there is still a small part of me that wants to tell this person what a tool they are (hey I never claimed to be perfect). What I do know is that when I am in my heart space, I know that my purpose at this time in my life is to live with a compassionate heart and be of service. Ego does get in the way for we are only human and this is truly the way we learn. Personal responsibility and taking action for what has been presented to us is magic. I am grown-up enough and comfortable enough to ask for what I want in positive ways. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxoxox

74. I no longer wait to be in perfect in order to love myself. I choose to love myself as I am, right here and right now.

07. Nov
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Compassion, Courage, Love, Unconditional Love,
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I know that there is certainly no mistake or coincidence that the burst of energy I have just received to write, is because it is the exact conversation I was having earlier with a friend. It is the reminder that I needed to hear, the lesson my soul yearned to feel and to celebrate the imperfect glorious mess that I am.

We are often our own worst enemy and as clichés as that may sound it is so true. Why is it that we feel we are only loveable when we are happy and satisfied with the way life is working out for us? Why do we find it so difficult to love ourselves when we are going through the slippery slide of mess, dishevelment and the crazy that is going on in our head?

There are potentially a million reasons why we choose to not love ourselves! It is our childhood, the person that broke our heart, blah blah blah the list can go and on. Sure these can certainly be contributing factors to our self-esteem and worth. Ultimately if we truly had this love for ourselves it wouldn’t matter or we would not have ended up in that situation to begin with.

One of the reasons I believe is that we were never actually taught how to. I don’t recall any teacher standing up in the front of a classroom teaching us self-love and self-worth. Perhaps it is a lesson that is learnt through pain, heartbreak and grief. I am no guru and I don’t have any self-fulfilling prophecies for you. One thing I do know is that the lesson of self-love comes up for me time and time again. Just when I think I have got it, whoosh the universe presents me with a little dash of something and I feel I have been flung back like a rubber band about to be propelled to the dismalness of self-loathing.

So why do we find it so difficult to love ourselves and wait for the perfect scenario to do so. “Well when I have the perfect job, relationship, lover then I will truly be able to love myself” What a croc of crap! The void that we want another to fill is dangerous and when we seek external factors self-love is absent.

Love for self is honouring and worshipping the total glorious, shadow, weird and wacky self. To find the gifts of gratitude beneath from the depths of our murkiness is love. I spent so much of my 41 years appeasing to what I thought would make me more loveable. Now I know that embracing all of me can only attract more of the same in my life. Fortunately or unfortunately the lessons of loving self came at a cost, but it is up to me to choose to love that part as well right here and right now. So you may not have your “shit” together. Who cares? Love all of your right now because you are imperfectly perfect just the way you are. I no longer wait to be in perfect in order to love myself. I choose to love myself as I am, right here and right now. Blessed be and so it is so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxox

74. I honour my inner child by remembering to play and have fun. I remind myself not to take things so seriously.

Our lives can be so serious and we get caught up in “our” first world problems. There are times when I catch myself going into my head of being so god dam serious about life, schedules, routines, responsibilities, it make me feel like I can’t breathe and I begin to feel stale! It is all about the balance and perception of what is real and what is not. I started a full time job a few weeks ago. It was a job that I had been manifesting especially in the area of mental health. I prayed for it and it appeared! Two weeks later and the reality of working full time is really beginning to sink in. To be perfectly honest it scares the crap out of me! I haven’t worked full time for many years! Now I have a choice right here and right now. I can choose to feel like it is a burden or I can feel it in my heart that it simply what I do now and how I serve here on earth. Most importantly it is about taking the time to play and not taking life so seriously.

I caught up with a friend earlier today and we spoke about the last few weeks and what has been going on for me. It feels like an adjustment that I am now attuning to. The importance on how I view the situation is simply how it will manifest. Our world is simply a reflection on where we are at. If I keep affirming that it is tiring and draining, then tired and drained will simply be my mirror. So right now I am super grateful for my friend who allowed me to stop and notice what was going on for me and to put my path back into perspective.

So for me right now it is all about the balance. One of my favourite things to do is to have a coffee at my local café. I love to watch the world around me and write. This morning I noticed a toddler who was about two years old. She had gumboots on and the brightest pink tutu. She skipped outside and her freedom was inspirational. Yes there is definitely a part of me that wants to wear a bright pink tutu and jump in puddles with gumboots on! What I have now realised is to feel the freedom of honouring my inner child and the HUGE reminder not to take life so seriously.

I have landed a position with a bunch of fun down to earth people in an area that I am truly passionate about. Yes there are times where I may be tired but the more I allow this to be my focus the more it will pull me down. It is easy to focus on “first world” stuff because we get in our heads and we forget to feel. I am certainly not regretful of my lessons and hardships that I feel. If they didn’t appear there would be no growth. So for now even though I don’t have a pink tutu, I can pretend I do and play amongst the fairies. I honour my inner child by remembering to play and have fun. I remind myself not to take things so seriously. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxox

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