Life presents us with many challenges; they can be good, bad or indifferent. It is the way that we deal with what life presents us with that makes the difference and how we choose to spend our lives. When I thought about what I was going to write about t today I reflected on what it meant for me. Right now for me it feels relatively easy to feel like a bright summer sun. I have just returned from a few weeks in Cambodia. I am home in Australia and have been filled up with so much love from my family and friends. I can connect to the affirmation and it would be easy peezzy to write about this from my perspective. Instead what I thought about was what it would be like right now for people who are not feeling like a ray of sunshine.
What has come up for me a lot lately is my own “story” of mental illness and how my own journey can help others. It feels like real life purpose stuff especially since my own cousin took her own life through suicide earlier this year. This is something that lives with me each and every day and turning this around is something that I am still working on for myself. What I do know is that while I was in Cambodia healing took place and one of the things that I was able to recognise is that a part of my purpose is to shed light and detach stigma from mental illness.
When you are in the depths of depression and the world that you are in is surrounded by darkness, there really is no point in telling somebody to affirm “I am a bright summer sun” You are likely to get a punch in the face or something of sorts. There is nothing more patronising than somebody telling you to think happy thoughts when you are in the depths of your darkness.
My personal journey about depression and psych admissions is recognising what got me to that place. It is about how it has served me and ultimately also saving me. It is about recognising that I am not always a ray of FU*(N sunshine and sometimes I am like a thunderous lightning bolt. It is about appreciating that without darkness lightness cannot exist. It is in the depths of our darkness that true creativity and passion stirs. For if it is with that much determination that we are able to go inwards it is with the same strength and courage that we are able to turn this energy of darkness outwards and into the light.
So instead of this post being about others feeling safe and warm in my presence it is about acknowledging being who it is that you need to be at any given moment. To be proud and honour what it is that you are feeling. That it is Ok to feel whatever you want to feel and for those around you to be in that space of love and warmth. Ultimately it is about feeling safe to express, be vulnerable and just show up as you. Just like the bright summer sun, I am a radiant being. Others feel safe and warm in my presence. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.
With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day
With HUG love
Sonia
xoo
