Far out I have struggled to be positive during this time of grief and perfectly so. My patience is limited and I find myself not being able to comprehend everyday nuances from people. My compassion for others right now seems to diminish at any given moment. There are times when my answer to what somebody has said is “are you f*KN serious u f**kstick!” but I understand that it is my stuff. I don’t respond as his is no longer how I choose to deal with my life. That is not to say that what another person has said is not completely ridiculous. It is simply not my place to judge rather to come from a place of compassion and recognise that this is their journey. I have been able to feel that there is pain, anger, sadness and grief. Some days I want to stuff it down with wine, food and ciggies but I know that it will just be there the next day. So for now I live hour by hour day by day and honour what is going on for me.

I find that there are people and situations that at this time I cannot be around. I am learning so much through this process and for now this is a time of rest, growth, learning and really listening to what is going on for me.  What I have found is those that are happy to be by my side during this time and just be. This is the value of unconditional love and I am so grateful and blessed for the space that some are willing to hold for me.  There are some people that I have hardly heard from or others that choose not to connect at this time and that is perfectly OK as well. It is almost like an apocalypse of a clean out of what is meant to be. I am cool with that. I know that what was once was will never be and right now that feels refreshing.

I stood in my kitchen earlier and was feeling miserably blah. There was a John Farnham song on the radio “hold me in your arms”. I got goose bumps and felt emotional and gave myself a hug. I also heard the universe whisper softly “I got your back” and I know it has.  Nobody or nothing can make me feel better, what is most important is how I manage each and every day and keep perspective on what is important and on purpose for me. So I went for a run (as much as I didn’t want to), felt blessed that I saw an old work mate that gave me the best hug, did some backing and got in touch with what was real. It doesn’t mean that I will never have a shitty day. Instead it creates more determination and focus on being of service, creating change and knowing that the universe works with me when I am coming from source and not my ego. With the universe as my partner, I go from success to success. I share this harvest of good with others and we are all blessed. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo