4. Growth requires you to leave the familiar behind

23. Apr
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Connection, Courage, Grief, Mental Health,
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In 2015 my cousin died by suicide and chose to go home. I inherited her blue dinner set. My Zia gifted us with her earthly possessions and it is something that I use almost every day. Most days I don’t even notice it and on some days, it hits home harder than others. I often feel her nudges and cheeky playful spirit in the back ground to remind me why I am here. Suicide has taken two family members, my Nonno and cousin Cathy. The impact and death of these family members has shaped me in so many ways. The reality of their death has allowed me to understand the depth and meaning of so much more.

In August 2020 after I experienced a break down, followed by a break up, moving of states and everything else in between I was struggling to be here. Big time! It consumed my thoughts and I searched high and low for some peace. My all-consuming thoughts of despair engulfed me and the space of nothingness that felt too difficult to bear. The thought of death allowed me to feel some comfort. It didn’t mean that I was contemplating suicide, earth just felt like a really hard place to be. It was those darkest of days and months that actually taught me to be all of who I am. I gave myself permission to be my most authentic self with no masks and no labels.

Up until that time in my life I had felt that suicide prevention and awareness was my purpose and would always be a part of my life work. Whilst I still feel very strongly about the alarming statistics the way I view the world ultimately has changed or perhaps I have simply remembered who I am. What I do know is that when we have disconnected from the truth of who we are, a diagnosis of depression can easily be articulated. When you are no longer in alignment with gives you peace, the disharmony perpetuates and ill health is inevitable.

For me the disconnect was gradual. The reconnection wasn’t a specific time or place. It was almost 2 years of leaving no stone unturned and being willing to feel it all. It was trusting my own inner wisdom and guidance to do things differently. If it was up to western medicine I would be medicated and dictated by a diagnosis. It doesn’t mean that the healing has stopped, our healing is ever evolving and we get to meet different versions of ourselves each and every time.

To my Nonno who I have never met in this lifetime, I honour your path and take grace in what you have been able to teach me in your death. Cathy your cheeky spirit and courage allows me to understand so much more. Thank you for your guiding light and shining it on my path, leading the way. For in your death, you have taught me the gift of life.

With a splash of Mermaid Magic and always let your heart lead the way.

Fairy wishes

Sonia

xxxx

3. I celebrate my unity with all life knowing we are one

23. Aug
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Freedom, Lessons, Life, Love, Mental Health, Peace,
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The current state of what is happening in our world at the moment is far from pleasant. An issue that has been weighing heavily on my heart is the divide that continues to happen. Whilst we all want to believe that we have good intentions and that we are coming from a place of kindness and compassion for one another, at times it feels to be the contrary, myself included. The amount of divide that is playing out is a pandemic. Connections are being dismantled, abuse being hurled due to lack of understanding, insidious name calling over a difference of opinion, comparisons of trauma all whilst suicide rates are escalating.

Of late I have witnessed dialogue in regards to the comparison of our current situation in Australia to Afghanistan. Let’s make no mistake these issues have been presenting themselves for many years. The fact that it has been splashed all over our social media means that innately we seem to pay more attention. Third world issues have always been prevalent. I visited and volunteered in Cambodia for many years. Most of the population doesn’t have access to health care. Children die from common ailments such as a fever or gastro. On rare occasions when they are able to seek medical attention it is usually after waiting for days, on a floor in a space that is less than hygienic. I have witnessed this. Yet when I wait at my doctor for over an hour I get frustrated that I wasn’t seen on time. I have an expectation that the doctor surgery will have a clean space and that any contaminated products will be dispersed according to the 1^st world country that I am currently living in. Does this make me selfish and ungrateful? Perhaps it does? If we apply this principle to what we are currently experiencing in relation to what is happening in Afghanistan compared to Australia, it isn’t just. We can almost apply this to all of our 1^st world commodities. There is genuine fear and turmoil due to loss of perceived freedoms. To be empathetic, have an awareness and understanding without negating one experience over the other is an aspect to be considered. Otherwise we are only adding to the trauma.

There has been a lot of comparison that protestors were selfish and that their understanding of true freedom cannot be compared. No it cannot be compared; we don’t live in a third world country. Hopefully we will never know. It is all good and well to have an opinion and opposing view and one in which to we are all entitled to. However what isn’t helpful is telling someone that they should simply be grateful that the situation in Australia is not the same as the one in Afghanistan. This has a fall on effect and only compounds the mental health crisis we are already experiencing. Whilst this issue has been raised due to recent protests of freedom, there are so many complexities to navigate. Are we are able to find the courage to take a deeper look inside our own moral high ground and compass for humanity? For when we are in a place of discernment and humility, it is then that the narrative that is presented is unable to waiver the truth of a united collective and restoration begins.

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

6. You can choose to climb without the struggle

Earlier this week I went indoor rock climbing to support a client that I work with. I haven’t been indoor rock climbing before so I was a little nervous about how I would go but also excited to do something new. What I can tell you is that I had heaps of fun. For the whole time that I was climbing I did not think of anything else but the next step. The young woman that I work with encouraged me to do one last wall and so I did. It was probably my most favourite wall to climb and she agreed and commented by saying “you can still climb without the struggle” I laughed at the irony of the comment as there was so much wisdom in what she said and exactly what I needed to hear.

Lately life has felt like a struggle. It doesn’t have to be good or bad it just is. However what I have been doing is concentrating on the struggle. I feel like life is in a bit of a limbo phase of where to next and how to from here. What I do know is that that simple phrase has stayed with me for a few days and has inspired to me a point of wanting to write today. I have been asking my higher self for guidance and I keep hearing step by step. This morning You Tube recommended a “Matt Kahn” clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i-B1hZIaek so I listened to it. He talks about choosing to be here amongst many other pockets of wisdom. What I have noticed is that there are many people around me that feel like life is a little tough right now. For the last few weeks I have been feeling the same. Is it the planets? the moon? a shift in our consciousness? I am not sure and nor does it matter, it can simply be and choosing to be where we are at.

So when I reflect on what I know and that is step by step and that without darkness we cannot have light. I know that it doesn’t have to be about the struggle but it is the climb that actually matters. So for now I can take a step back from what I have perceived to be a struggle and simply choose to be here in this moment, in this moment of the glorious emotional imperfect but perfect creative chaos. What I have perceived as feeling stuck and confusing can simply be a climb and choosing to be here. That doesn’t mean that I wave a magic wand and unicorns and rainbows appear, rather it is about taking simple action step by step and choosing to be exactly where I am at. That doesn’t mean that I want to stay stuck rather it is acknowledging whatever it is that is going on for me and processing it in a way that supports my purpose here on earth. You can choose to climb without the struggle. Blessed be and so it is. Thank you.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xx

9. Everyone Matters.

05. Jun
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Lessons, Mental Health, Purpose, Raw, Suicide,
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No Comments

I have woken really early this morning and can’t help but think about the murder of a 13 month old girl. Two separate friends told me about it yesterday and I just wasn’t ready to hear it. It is literally down the road and clearly has had some affect if it is want I am thinking about at 5:00am in the morning. When a mother decides to take the life of their own child there has to be something seriously wrong. I had a read about what had occurred and the mother was taken to a local police station where she was not able to be interviewed due to her psychiatric illness. The devastation fell upon my heart as I guessed that this is what may have happened. So much sadness not only for the precious cherub that was murdered by her own mother but for a woman who was so unwell that this is what she succumbed to.

Yesterday morning I woke up to read the final chapters of my book. It was predominantly about my cousin Cathy who took her own life over 2 years ago. I still can’t comprehend at times that she has gone and that this was her fate that took place. It is in fact very true and still quite raw. I try really hard not focus on the heaviness that surrounds this situation, rather it allows me to be more determined to create change, to do more and to absolutely finish the final moments of my book about suicide awareness and prevention. Every 3 hours somebody in Australia chooses to take their own life. So by the time you have woken up for the day at least 2 or 3 people would have died. Not sure about you but this statistic creates heaviness beyond what I can describe but a surge of determination to do more.

My own experience and history of mental health ultimately has led me to this one precious life that I am now leading. I am beyond grateful for the resilience, strength and courage that it has taught me. So how does all this connect to a woman in Reservoir that murdered her 13 month old? For me the questions furiously circled my mind. How did this go unnoticed? What happened to her? Why was she driven to do what she did? She just didn’t wake up one morning and decide to kill her child? From what I have read there had also been 13 accounts of reported domestic violence. (Who know if this is true?) It doesn’t matter because it is all a story and drama. Let’s get to the core of humanity and why she couldn’t reach out before she got to that point? Why my cousin Cathy who has an extended family of 70+ people but still felt that this was her only choice. These are the issues that are important to me and one that we all have a moral obligation to create a world that is safe. It is not OK that the life of this child is no longer but it feels worse not do anything about it. Everyone matters. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

Sonia Muraca

xoxoxo

23.Radiate an energy of serenity and peace so that have an uplifting effect on those you come in contact with.

27. Oct
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Authentic, Courage, Integrity, Mental Health,
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1 Comment

For me writing this blog is also about challenging myself to create different ways of thinking, feeling and seeing the world. Of course it would be super easy to sit and write about how I am radiating serenity on a good day when I am full of brightness and spark. This would be super simple and fun somewhat. I work in the area of mental health and in the past I have had my own mental health issues to a point of self-deprecation and destruction. It wasn’t fun. I am sure that there were many suggestions throughout this time where professionals would have indicated ways to “feel better” I was too depressed to care or listen.

That is just it. When we are in such a debilitated state to care, is when the real works needs to happen. I am in no way suggesting that I am able to provide you with expert or medical advice. What I can simply say is what worked and didn’t work for me. What I am passionate about is changing the way we perceive mental health and that it is not just about the person who is supposedly “suffering” but as a community and collective that we all share the responsibility to be of service to humanity and to each other.

Too often I hear and see the “suffering” that occurs in silence. That people are wearing so many masks to present this way or that way. When deep down all they want to do is yell and scream, but still they carry on in their day, week, month and even years pretending that they are OK. Pretending to a point that they are even unaware of what is real and what is a mask. That by the time it has reached this point, radiating energy of serenity is the furthest thing from reality. The fight and struggle to endure what comes next is indicative of freedom and what you then wish to create. Sure you can go on living in a “zombie” state or whatever you want to call it. Wear as many or as little masks as you like but what is most pertinent is the authenticity of the creation.

I don’t sit here and write this from a perspective that I have it all worked out. Far from it, but what I do know is that I have been able to trust and know myself well enough to have a solid understanding of what works and doesn’t for me. Courage and resilience are often key components and knowing that you deserve and worthy of all that you are and all that you are meant to be. I would far prefer to sit with someone who is open and honest about their depressed state than fumble my way through a fake conversation of superficialness. #Justsaying# At the very least the depressed state is real! So be whoever you need to be at the time. Radiate an energy of serenity and peace so that you have an uplifting effect on those you come in contact with. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xooxxo