1. Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage – Brene Brown

Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage – Brene Brown

Writing for me is a part of who I am. Without it I am not sure where my life would be right now. It takes me to a place where nothing else matters. The purpose of my blog is to write with a compassionate heart especially on the days that I don’t want to. Today is one of those days and I am reminded that these are the times that I need to dig deep and change my perspective of where my head space it at. My body is tired and all I want do is climb under my doona and sleep. I live in Queensland now and the weather doesn’t allow doona kind of days. I could potentially continue to lie on the couch and feel sorry for myself or I can write. Clearly this is what I have chosen.

To be vulnerable is not something that we are taught to do. We are often told that we need to be strong, that we need to have it all together or that we need to feel a certain way. That doesn’t really work for me. It is tiring and consuming to be someone who we are not. I would choose raw and real any day. To be vulnerable is one of the greatest gifts that we can possibly give ourselves and others. I really don’t believe we were meant to live our lives having to do it all on our own.

I was having a conversation with my roomies a few days ago and we were talking about our ideal relationship and what expectations we have not only on ourselves but on others. The conversation that took place is one that has left me pondering. We all want to be independent people and not have any expectations from others but does that in turn can leave us isolated and not emotionally available.

What if we took off the masks and just presented exactly as we were. To openly admit what it is that we are feeling without being afraid of being hurt or judged. For it to be perfectly ok to have days when we just can’t adult. We seem to forget that we can’t have one without the other. Where there is light there is darkness and on the days that it is too dark we can use the light of others to ignite what we need.

For me my needs right now are simple. A meal that is being cooked, for me to openly admit that I am not feeling the best I can be and to accept the love and warmth from those around me. Sometimes it isn’t that simple and showing up as we are can scary. But what if it wasn’t and what if our imperfections were actually perfect. Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxxo

9. Everyone Matters.

05. Jun
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Lessons, Mental Health, Purpose, Raw, Suicide,
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I have woken really early this morning and can’t help but think about the murder of a 13 month old girl. Two separate friends told me about it yesterday and I just wasn’t ready to hear it. It is literally down the road and clearly has had some affect if it is want I am thinking about at 5:00am in the morning. When a mother decides to take the life of their own child there has to be something seriously wrong. I had a read about what had occurred and the mother was taken to a local police station where she was not able to be interviewed due to her psychiatric illness. The devastation fell upon my heart as I guessed that this is what may have happened. So much sadness not only for the precious cherub that was murdered by her own mother but for a woman who was so unwell that this is what she succumbed to.

Yesterday morning I woke up to read the final chapters of my book. It was predominantly about my cousin Cathy who took her own life over 2 years ago. I still can’t comprehend at times that she has gone and that this was her fate that took place. It is in fact very true and still quite raw. I try really hard not focus on the heaviness that surrounds this situation, rather it allows me to be more determined to create change, to do more and to absolutely finish the final moments of my book about suicide awareness and prevention. Every 3 hours somebody in Australia chooses to take their own life. So by the time you have woken up for the day at least 2 or 3 people would have died. Not sure about you but this statistic creates heaviness beyond what I can describe but a surge of determination to do more.

My own experience and history of mental health ultimately has led me to this one precious life that I am now leading. I am beyond grateful for the resilience, strength and courage that it has taught me. So how does all this connect to a woman in Reservoir that murdered her 13 month old? For me the questions furiously circled my mind. How did this go unnoticed? What happened to her? Why was she driven to do what she did? She just didn’t wake up one morning and decide to kill her child? From what I have read there had also been 13 accounts of reported domestic violence. (Who know if this is true?) It doesn’t matter because it is all a story and drama. Let’s get to the core of humanity and why she couldn’t reach out before she got to that point? Why my cousin Cathy who has an extended family of 70+ people but still felt that this was her only choice. These are the issues that are important to me and one that we all have a moral obligation to create a world that is safe. It is not OK that the life of this child is no longer but it feels worse not do anything about it. Everyone matters. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

Sonia Muraca

xoxoxo

1. I AM OPEN TO RECEIVE rather than “GO F*&K YOURSELF”

16. Jan
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Affirmations, Authentic, Fun, Raw, Receive,
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For the last 4 or so years I have been writing a blog. The blog has usually been derived from some type of affirmation calendar. I have either purchased one or received one as a gift. This year neither happened. So we are halfway through January and I haven’t sat down nor have I taken the time to sit and write and do what I love most. My blogs have usually consisted of turning a situation around but most importantly it is about being real, raw and vulnerable. It is not a spiritual blog that is going to make you feel better rather it is about connection. It is not going to teach you how to be happy, nor is it going to tell you what you have to do. Ultimately that is up to you. Instead what it will do is connect you to what I am being guided to write about

When there is loss of connection to self, the cascade motion that follows can usually be of detriment. Hence when we want to tell the world and everybody in it to “go F&*K yourself. For those that know me well will know that may be a phrase that they would have heard. Perhaps not my proudest moments but it is who I am and I am forever learning. So for the last 24+ hours I have spent in my bathroom with an eloquent purging kind of virus. I am sure you can work out the rest. It has been crap literally. Call it a purge, call it a virus, call it whatever you will but what I do know is that out of every situation that is presented to us it is an opportunity to learn if that is what we want to do. We don’t have to learn if we don’t want to we can simply be stuck and continue to have the same conversations with the same situations. Boring and pretty much “go F*&(K yourself”

Now I am not suggesting for one minute that you should be going around telling anyone to “go F*&K themselves” Instead what I have recognised for me today is that when I get to this point it is a tell-tale sign that there is something else going on. For me it is about feeling stuck, stagnant and my creative energy feels dormant. What I have learnt the best is that we weren’t meant to live this life doing it on our own. After speaking to a dear soul today I recognised what my soul needed to do. I took myself to the park and just sat. What came through was “I am open to receive” The “Go F*(K yourself” mantra appeared to dissipate. So instead of feeling stuck and stagnant a mere 15 minutes allowed me to connect to nature and I could hear my soul speak. As soon as I drove away from the park a car beeped me in the non-friendly version. I instantly went to “go F&^K yourself” but this time I didn’t stay there I laughed.

Sending you an abundance of unicorn magic and fairy wishes

Sonia

xoxox

20. Within you is the kingdom of serenity, which can create all the prosperity that you could ever want.

I have been in Cambodia for the last 10 or so days, Cambodia is also affectionately known as the Kingdom of Wonder. It is a country that I have grown to love and admire for so many reasons and one in which I continue to explore each time I visit. On the eve of my 42^nd birthday I have some “down” time to reflect on the wonder and serenity and all that it encapsulates. Part of my role in Cambodia is to co-facilitate groups of volunteers with Head Heart and Hand Holidays. http://www.headheartandhandholidays.com.au/. The 2^nd group of volunteers arrived yesterday and for most of the days I am in action and logistics mode, so to fall into my heart and write feels like home.

I love what I do here for so many reasons and to put it into words perhaps wouldn’t do it any justice. The feeling associated with a country that allows me to truly envelop all that I am is beyond anything that I could have possibly ever imagined. There is so much growth and depth beyond the surface of what is. This is now the 5^th time that I have travelled to Cambodia in the last 3 years. For some time each time I visited Cambodia all I wanted to do was come straight back. The simplicity and gratitude that I received was all the prosperity that I could ever want. Peace, love and freedom are the true gifts that I have been able to unwrap no matter where I am in the world and for this Cambodia I am so enriched because of you.

Sometimes in life we seem to be searching outside of ourselves to make us feel happier or complete. Instead the gifts of what we truly acquire are nestled within us and finding them is where the magic truly happens. I no longer feel that I have to run to Cambodia to make me happy or complete. Nobody or anything can do that for you and believing that it will can only set you up to fail. It changed my perspective of life and how I choose to live it now. One of our volunteers today reminded me with her words. “We are only here for such a short time, I choose to say yes and then work out the details or whatever later” It was a gentle yet swift reminder as I close the last day before I turn 42. So the greatest gift I can give myself is a kingdom of serenity and one in which is filled with peace love and freedom and of course some cheeky fairy fun! It’s ironic that a country that is considered to 3^rd world is so abundant with gifts that can only be felt, for this is the greatest gift that we can truly give ourselves. Be raw, be vulnerable and be you. Withinyou is the kingdom of serenity, which can create all the prosperity that you could ever want. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxox