25. The universe works on many principles that are beyond our control. They work independently of our opinion, and work even if we do not understand them

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Christmas festivities have subsided for another year and the quite lull is welcoming. The season seems to provoke so much and with it an avalanche of emotions, good bad and indifferent. For some the empty chairs  is what hits the hardest, for others the financial strain soars and the toxins we induce into our bodies aren’t always that great. But hey, Merry Christmas and HO HO HO! Me personally I can be the Grinch who stole Christmas and seriously doesn’t give a F&*K or I can sway to the peace and prosperity that the season brings. It all depends on which day you speak to me.  I really dislike the emphasis that we seem to place on one day and the commercialism of it all. How about we don’t wait for one day to be happy and all things holly? How about we practise kindness and compassion every day?

Now please don’t take what I have to say as gospel as often what I am writing is also a reminder to myself? Do I practise kindness and compassion every day? Heck no! I don’t go out being a deliberate asshole but there are certainly times when I haven’t taken the time or respect to fill myself up with what I need so how can I possibly be doing it for others?  It doesn’t mean I have to go into the story about it all rather recognising and having an awareness about what is happening for me not to me.

It has been a while since I have written my blog. Instead I have spent the most part of the year writing a book that has been in the making for almost 15 years. The book is primarily about suicide awareness and prevention, my own journey of mental illness and many roads of recovery. So when I read the affirmation for today a number of thoughts ran through my mind. I thought about Christmas and what it meant for me and then I began to reflect on what a year it has been.  There is just so much! Where do we start really?

What I did notice most poignantly was that the “universe works on many principles” and indeed it does. There is so much focus on searching and looking for that one thing to make it better, for that one thing to make it right. All along everything we need is already inside of us we just have to work our way to find it. Sometimes the search is long and arduous and other times it can be magical and quick. Other times it flashes before our very eyes and sometimes it takes the wind out of us. Whatever it may be is right for you and what works best. We try so hard to please everybody else that we simply forget the most important aspect of self. That everything is perfectly imperfect just the way it is. If you want it to be different, choice is simple, make your own rules and create your own dance. The universe works on many principles that are beyond our control. They work independently of our opinion, and work even if we do not understand them. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoox

16. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

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I was divinely prompted to make sure that I had a look at the statement for today. I know that there is no such thing as a coincidence and everything falls into place exactly as it is meant to. I took a drive to Wallan this morning which is a good half hour drive from my place. It is freeway driving so I listened to my cd of Dr Wayne Dyer. He spoke of Emerson and his teachings. I then attended a workshop where a friend of mine spoke about goal setting, ambition, action and achieving what it is that you are meant to in this lifetime. I have arrived home and had a look at the statement for today and there are 3 pretty clear signs that I have received. This is what I interpret as signs from the universe.

So for me right now I know that this is about stepping into a direction of going where there is no path and leaving a trail. Sometimes the trail that we know is familiar, warm and cosy but ultimately it also gets pretty boring. Other times what we know is destructive, sabotaging and soul destroying and somehow can be comfortable and we become complacent. Both are equally dangerous. When we become stuck in a place that is not in alignment with our authentic self we are not truly living, rather we are waiting to die.

I am in the process of writing “my story”. Sure there is a part of it that will make an interesting read. I am Italian and dramatic after all! But the other part of it and the real essence of why I want to share what I have learnt is ultimately to connect others to their own pain and growth. Pain can feel like a really scary and an unwelcoming space to be. Trust me the more we avoid it the more it hurts. When we succumb to our feelings and truly connect to our heart there is no other option than to connect and to truly live the lives we are meant to.

All of our paths and chapters are different and unique. There is no magical formula that we can concoct to reveal the answers that we need. Instead there is a connection to self and the space in which we truly thrive. As I listened to Dr Wayne Dyer he had asked the audience to point to themselves. I did it as well and placed my finger near my heart. He asked people to look around and to notice where every person was pointing. Nobody was pointing to their heads, everyone was pointing to their heart. Connecting to who we truly are and to be raw and real is the greatest service you can be for yourself and to others. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xooo

12. You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf.

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This affirmation presented to me today feels pertinent to what is happening for me right now. The end of my contract at work is coming to an end in just a few short weeks. I am currently looking for a new and exciting opportunity but one hasn’t come my way just yet. I am trusting that it will. My friend called me earlier she had almost been in an accident where a truck could have potentially wiped her off. Clearly and ever so f*KN thankful it didn’t. She was a little shaken and of course as we do spoke about life and what it means. I mean do we ever really know? Does it even matter? What was most profound for me was a lesson I like to remind myself of. If today was my last day did I spend it doing what I love doing? Did I spend it with people that I love being with?

I have been sick with a cold for a few days so today I rested. I had loving conversations with a few friends and had a friend pop in to see me. Sure if today was my last day I spent it doing what I love doing. Can I say that for every other day? For most of the time I can honestly say yes but there are certainly times when I am trying to stop the waves and forgetting that I can learn to surf. Pardon the pun because I have an unrealistic fear of deep ocean water but hey I will get there.

Today I was reminded even more so to be in my heart, to follow where I am guided, rather than what is expected or the right thing to do. It’s amazing how many people have opinions in what they think you “should” be doing. As far as I am concerned as soon as you “should” you may as well shit on yourself.  I can’t help that my work contract can potentially come to an end in a few weeks. It is really none of my business if it does or doesn’t.  What I do know is how involved in the drama of it do I wish to be involved in?

My current work situation has served me and had taught me the most unexpected and transformative lessons.  Learning about boundaries and self-worth have been the most pertinent of challenges.  They haven’t been fun nor have been easy but you know what I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know that we are taught exactly what we need at the perfect time. I have had no option but learn to surf. Our reactions to situations measure deeply from the way we choose to respond to them.  Are you stopping the waves or learning to surf? I know in the midst of what we are experiencing at time it can be ever so easy to react, however learning to respond gives me so much more freedom. You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxox

 

 

 57. I acknowledge myself for creating a wonderful experience today.

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I really don’t feel like writing about creating a wonderful experience today but I know it is exactly what is what my soul requires right now. I work up this morning with a bit of a head cold, no big deal but didn’t feel my usual self. At about 5 minutes past 9 I got a call to say that I had been unsuccessful in an interview that I had earlier this week. I could tell by the tone of his voice in the “hello” that I didn’t get it.  Even though there was politeness that was coming from my conversation, my mind was screaming “really, really” I wanted to go back to bed, throw the doona over me and not come out for the rest of the day. I chose otherwise. I rose like an angry bird and put a meditation CD on instead. It helped profusely and the perspective shifted. That is not to say that I felt like a bag of beans but it was about channelling my energy elsewhere rather than focus on what was not meant to be.

So when I finally got myself down stairs and opened up the affirmation for the day I shook my head in disbelief and then thought, Ok I can turn this day around! What I did know was although I hadn’t got the job that I was really excited about there was also lots of other  opportunities that were around me at the moment. What I also did was to be mindful of ALL that I have to be grateful about and in the next moment I received an encouraging and lovely text from a dear friend. I received an email from somebody who had read my writing and had got a lot out of what I had written and it made my heart smile.  I also took my plants outside and gave them some love and attention and was reminded about how special, sacred and healing Mother Earth is and I got to a more peaceful place.

So for me right now it is not about saying that I don’t have the right to feel. In fact I feel really raw and vulnerable and I honour what that means for me. It is about being gentle and acknowledging that patience, trust and faith are the most important lessons for me to savour. It is about focusing on what I can do and being the best possible version of who I can be. I know right now I am in a really blessed place and my life is filled with so many blessings and abundance. It is not about disregarding what is happening for me internally but it is also about not fuelling or giving any power or harbouring and “victim” feelings or mentality. I can choose to write my story for today and so I am. I know that I received lots of insight from my mediation and this is where I choose to create a day filled with magic and miracles. I also have a hair appointment later today and I have great hair :) .  I acknowledge myself for creating a wonderful experience today. Blessed be and so it. Namaste

With a sprinkle of fairy diust and may magic follow your day.

With love

Sonia

Xoooo

Just like the bright summer sun, I am a radiant being. Others feel safe and warm in my presence.

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Life presents us with many challenges; they can be good, bad or indifferent. It is the way that we deal with what life presents us with that makes the difference and how we choose to spend our lives. When I thought about what I was going to write about t today I reflected on what it meant for me. Right now for me it feels relatively easy to feel like a bright summer sun. I have just returned from a few weeks in Cambodia. I am home in Australia and have been filled up with so much love from my family and friends. I can connect to the affirmation and it would be easy peezzy to write about this from my perspective. Instead what I thought about was what it would be like right now for people who are not feeling like a ray of sunshine.

What has come up for me a lot lately is my own “story” of mental illness and how my own journey can help others. It feels like real life purpose stuff especially since my own cousin took her own life through suicide earlier this year. This is something that lives with me each and every day and turning this around is something that I am still working on for myself. What I do know is that while I was in Cambodia healing took place and one of the things that I was able to recognise is that a part of my purpose is to shed light and detach stigma from mental illness.

When you are in the depths of depression and the world that you are in is surrounded by darkness, there really is no point in telling somebody to affirm “I am a bright summer sun” You are likely to get a punch in the face or something of sorts. There is nothing more patronising than somebody telling you to think happy thoughts when you are in the depths of your darkness.

My personal journey about depression and psych admissions is recognising what got me to that place.  It is about how it has served me and ultimately also saving me. It is about recognising that I am not always a ray of FU*(N sunshine and sometimes I am like a thunderous lightning bolt. It is about appreciating that without darkness lightness cannot exist. It is in the depths of our darkness that true creativity and passion stirs. For if it is with that much determination that we are able to go inwards it is with the same strength and courage that we are able to turn this energy of darkness outwards and into the light.

So instead of this post being about others feeling safe and warm in my presence it is about acknowledging being who it is that you need to be at any given moment. To be proud and honour what it is that you are feeling. That it is Ok to feel whatever you want to feel and for those around you to be in that space of love and warmth. Ultimately it is about feeling safe to express, be vulnerable and just show up as you. Just like the bright summer sun, I am a radiant being. Others feel safe and warm in my presence. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

With HUG love

Sonia

xoo

29. With the universe as my partner, I go from success to success. I share this harvest of good with others and we are all blessed.

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Far out I have struggled to be positive during this time of grief and perfectly so. My patience is limited and I find myself not being able to comprehend everyday nuances from people. My compassion for others right now seems to diminish at any given moment. There are times when my answer to what somebody has said is “are you f*KN serious u f**kstick!” but I understand that it is my stuff. I don’t respond as his is no longer how I choose to deal with my life. That is not to say that what another person has said is not completely ridiculous. It is simply not my place to judge rather to come from a place of compassion and recognise that this is their journey. I have been able to feel that there is pain, anger, sadness and grief. Some days I want to stuff it down with wine, food and ciggies but I know that it will just be there the next day. So for now I live hour by hour day by day and honour what is going on for me.

I find that there are people and situations that at this time I cannot be around. I am learning so much through this process and for now this is a time of rest, growth, learning and really listening to what is going on for me.  What I have found is those that are happy to be by my side during this time and just be. This is the value of unconditional love and I am so grateful and blessed for the space that some are willing to hold for me.  There are some people that I have hardly heard from or others that choose not to connect at this time and that is perfectly OK as well. It is almost like an apocalypse of a clean out of what is meant to be. I am cool with that. I know that what was once was will never be and right now that feels refreshing.

I stood in my kitchen earlier and was feeling miserably blah. There was a John Farnham song on the radio “hold me in your arms”. I got goose bumps and felt emotional and gave myself a hug. I also heard the universe whisper softly “I got your back” and I know it has.  Nobody or nothing can make me feel better, what is most important is how I manage each and every day and keep perspective on what is important and on purpose for me. So I went for a run (as much as I didn’t want to), felt blessed that I saw an old work mate that gave me the best hug, did some backing and got in touch with what was real. It doesn’t mean that I will never have a shitty day. Instead it creates more determination and focus on being of service, creating change and knowing that the universe works with me when I am coming from source and not my ego. With the universe as my partner, I go from success to success. I share this harvest of good with others and we are all blessed. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

28. I am a Divine conduit for transforming the quality of people’s lives.

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When I looked at the affirmation for today I wanted to flick it to tomorrow (and I did). The affirmation for tomorrow is about loving my job. I sat and pondered. I thought I could take the easy road, stay in my comfort zone or push myself to write today. It would be easy peasy lemon squeezy to write about loving my job because I simply do. As I sit here and think about the affirmation for today, I want to laugh sarcastically at myself and then I want to say to the universe, really??? I know that writing for me is one of the best creative outlets that I have and it grounds me to being real.

I was just speaking to my sisters a little earlier and we were speaking about my aunt and uncle that have just lost their dear daughter to suicide. It is almost coming up to three weeks now since she decided to leave our earthly realm and the sadness is overwhelming. There are times when I feel like I am gasping for air at the harsh reality that now lies before us. There are so many things that run through my head at any one given time and my emotions are all over the place. One day I want to change the world and the next I want to hide under the doona and pretend that it hasn’t happened. I am just rolling with it and honouring what it is that is going on for me.

So when I read the affirmation for today I thought about “stuff”. Sure I could have written about what I have done in the past. It would have been easy, but easy and comfort zone doesn’t get me anywhere. What I am aware of is the language that I am using. My aunt also passed away earlier this year and I caught myself saying today “what a shitty year it has already been”  In less than three months we have lost two family members but rather than saying it has been shitty I can choose to say that there has been death and sadness but so much more in between. Sure it has been tough but the focus of my intentions is what is important.

For my aunt, uncle and cousins I have no answers or saving grace for them. The pain that they now live with may be forever but I have to believe that there is a divine reason for all this happening. How do I be a divine conduit? The only answer I have is to be authentic and transparent. To always come from a place of love and compassion and to be still with them in moments when they cannot for themselves. Death has a way of allowing you to stop, breathe and really evaluate what matters most in your life. For me I know that this is an area of my life that I do appreciate and constantly review. Every day is a gift and it is how we choose to spend it that matters most in the end. Already there has been revelations in my life and what may have mattered before does no longer in the best possible way. To find gratitude for the abundance and goodness that I receive each and every day and beyond is the true blessing in life. I am divine conduit for transforming the quality of people’s lives. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo