12. I create a bubble of ease around me when I travel

Creating a bubble of ease feels pretty pertinent to me right now. I live on the Gold Coast and for most of the time the energy is light and vibrant. However this is not always the case. A few days ago I visited Centrelink for a client. I was attempting to advocate and was abruptly greeted by a security guard who requested information. I was then asked the same questions only seconds later by a Centrelink staff member. There were no salutations, no smile and no sign of human connection. I was perplexed as to why the same questions needed to occur. I’m not entirely sure how the information that I presented about cold\flu like symptoms or questions about travel could have changed from the front door to the front desk.

By this time my energy felt heightened and there was no bubble of ease. I get it everyone in the world seems to be under huge amounts of stress and government officials are simply trying to follow instructions. What I am curious about is how does the simplicity of connection get lost through translation? Why couldn’t there be a smile? Why couldn’t the questions be asked in a more dignified manner opposed to barking orders? How do we navigate this world right now with ease?

For me my senses are heightened. I become anxious in harsh settings so I am finding new ways to create a bubble of ease when I travel to complete daily work and personal tasks. For my Melbourne family and friends I know this is an area that has become somewhat normal. I am finding our new so called “normal” confronting and somewhat suffocating. The signs that remind us not to stand too close, the arrows on the floors that dictate which way we are meant to be walking and the screens behind each counter that are protecting us from the spread of further infection.

So how do we travel with ease when it seems that as a collective we are somewhat divided? How do we continue to come from a place of love when we can have such opposing views in regards to what is happening in our universe? I am tired of debating what is true to me. It saddens me that I don’t know when I will see my family next. My soul hurts that so many are suffering because of restrictions. It is a cruel and harsh reality that we cannot celebrate life and death in ways that we are accustomed. We are all affected in one way or another but what we do have is compassion, what we do have is spirit and what we do have is a beating heart that reminds us that we are alive. A heart that sings true to the collective response of unity in consciousness and a reminder of being leaders of hope in all that we do.

2020#connect2createchange#.

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

6. Today I move forward with confidence & ease.

I have struggled to blog lately. One of the “rules” that I imposed on myself is that I would write about living with a compassionate heart even on the days when I didn’t want to. This allows me to see another side. It doesn’t allow me to sit in my crap and lay blame, instead it forces me to sit up and take responsibility for my own creation. Otherwise you would simply be reading a blog about how FKT up it has all felt. Entertaining perhaps but I imagine not so useful.

I read the affirmation for today and pondered how exactly do we move forward with confidence and ease? How can I write about this when I don’t feel confident or at ease with all the events that are taking place right now? Then I felt that this was exactly what I had to write about. The last few weeks have been heavy and unnerving to say the least. I haven’t felt very positive about the world and I have struggled to understand the huge polarity in viewpoints.

Towers in Victoria are being locked down and people are now being detained in their own homes without the liberty of even being able to access an outdoor area. Children entering Victorian schools will now have a temperature gun pointed to their third eye prior to entering a classroom. Masks are now mandatory on public transport. Not sure about you but that doesn’t make me feel at ease. What I do know is that I also don’t want to live in fear and I certainly live with hope that this is not our new normal. So how do I move forward with confidence and ease with compassion?

What I have recognised is what I can do and that is to use my voice. To trust that there is a bigger purpose for us all. To know that I just can’t sit back and expect it to happen and that I have to be a part of the solution and not the problem. Whilst I stay in a state of fear and anger there is nothing that I can do for myself or the world. What I do know is that I can keep being light. I have had endless conversations about what is going on in our world right now. There has been a sense of helplessness that there is nothing that we can do.

#connect2createchange# is a project that I have been working on for a while now. It has changed its direction a few times now but the message is always the same. Connection! Without connection to self we simply just exist. If we stay the same so does the rest of world. If we think we can’t do anything then we won’t. I’m not sure about you but I don’t want to have to wait to be locked in my home to exercise the right to be outside. We take action, we speak up, and we become unafraid to seek justice. We move forward with grace and ease.

#2020#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

2. “Love thy Neighbour”

To say the last month or so has been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. I haven’t had the energy nor have I felt very motivated to write. I know myself well so by not writing I am only doing myself a disservice. I noticed myself blaming others or situations about the way I felt, which is only a cop out for not taking personal responsibility. We create it all, the good, bad and all the rest in between. Sure there are times when certain situations can cause disharmony and conflict but ultimately the personal responsibility lies within each and every one of us.

Funny or not there was a recent complaint about where I live in regards to a BBQ that was at the front of the home. There was no communicating to me just a few emails about the removal of it with no rhyme or reason other than they were the rules. It triggered the F&*K out of me. At the time I couldn’t quite work out why it was making me so angry but the profanities that I verbalised were less than kind. Any kind of situation that triggers a response is a flag for me to sit up and notice. It was about freedom of choice, an injustice and speaking up with integrity.

In reflection what comes up is “love they neighbour” a simple commandment or life lesson. When we can’t be kind to our neighbour what chance do we have for the rest of the world. When we don’t have a moral compass or have a desire to be of service to humanity how we can possibly bring goodness to the world. Trust me I am no saint but you know what I own my stuff and take personal responsibility in the way I treat myself and the rest of the world. Bottom line we all have a personal responsibility to show up not only for ourselves but for the communities we live in. Our words and actions have a direct impact in the world we live in.

I could sit here and blog about nosy neighbours or about the systems in which we live. Quite frankly I am not interested in giving it any more energy. Instead what I can do is reflect and know that everything that happens for us and not to us. What I do know is that Mother Earth is in dire straits and harsh and cruel actions only create more of the same. So what I can do is focus on what changes I can bring not only to myself, but to my neighbours, my community and the world in which I live. I can’t change what others do nor do I want to, this is not my job. Instead what I can to is accept and choose what no longer serves me. I am responsible for the way I feel, do and act and my expectation is that those I surround myself with do the same, otherwise there is no growth and instead only more of the same. What I can admire is how the lessons do show up even when it is about a BBQ. “Love thy neighbour” and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxox

17. “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

16. Jun
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Awareness, Change, Compassion, Humanity,
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A few days ago we woke to the news of a 22 year old that was murdered in Melbourne. She is the almost the same age as my niece and was killed in a part of Melbourne that I know all too well. It could have been anyone. My body reeled as it felt way too close to home. As the days have progressed there has been an outstanding amount of media coverage. I have reflected about the way it has made me feel. I feel sadness for the life that has been lost through a senseless death. It is wrong that there is so much fear and anxiety around feeling safe. What is even more pertinent are some of the messages that are being delivered. I have watched and read numerous news reports and can agree with what is being communicated. Let’s make no mistake; what happened to this young woman is unfathomable.

What has left me sitting in a space of wonder is the gender divide. There have been a number of issues that have been highlighted. The media has indicated that it is the behaviour of men that needs to change. I agree. It has also been described that women should not have to change their behaviour in order to be safe. I can also resonate with this. Where I feel unsettled is that it is primarily against men and rightly so in this case. I understand that there is an epidemic of domestic violence and that women are killed at the mercy of men. But on the flip side violence doesn’t discriminate. There is so much that we don’t hear about. It has been reported that 21 fathers die by suicide each week because of women who deny them access to their children.

I don’t want this to be a debate as I don’t disagree with the correspondence of the “news”. Instead what I am suggesting is that perhaps we need to come from a different viewpoint and understand that violence on any level is not acceptable. So many lives are lost every day in all parts of the world that include innocent children, men and women. There are countless deaths that we don’t hear about, yet one death that feels that it could be any of us and we rally to create change. Creating change is the catalyst and we are all responsible for the world we live in. It is not up to anyone else but ourselves to be the change that we want to see in the world.

Men are just as prone to violence as what women are and yet it feels like we are creating a greater divide. I could be totally wrong. This is only my viewpoint and what this current situation feels like for me. We want change yet what are we doing about it? Do we practice compassion, peace and loyalty in the way we live? How can we expect to achieve a state of love and peace when we don’t even have it our own lives? What are we doing each and every day to make the world a better place, to be of service and to be compassionate and loyal to each and every human being? I know that this has been a reminder for me to know that creating change with love, compassion and peace is what we are born to do. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxox

12. I only own my mind – I am mine – Pearl Jam

A friend sent me this song this morning, the lyrics resonated and I connected with it. I am not sure why she sent it. There was no message just the song. I know and feel our connection beyond distance so I know that it was something that I needed to hear. I start a new job tomorrow and I am feeling beyond nervous. I was chatting to a friend yesterday and expressed that I was starting to feel anxious about it all. She reminded me to look at it as an exciting new chapter. So when I heard and felt the song this morning I felt that it was a little reminder to really be in the moment about the new chapter that I begin tomorrow. I am not a magician and nor do I have a magic wand to switch off my thoughts but what I can achieve is awareness.

As I write my blog for the day I am jolted into a different reality. I can hear the news about the chemical war fare in Syria. I am watching people being hosed down in an attempt to wash the chemicals in which they have been attacked with. I could go on and on about the pure injustice about the war that is happening and the suffering that our world goes through. I am not sure that it would actually achieve anything except more of the same energy that exacerbates injustice.

As the lyrics of the song indicate – I only own my mind [1]– I can only control what happens to my thoughts and words. I cannot and nor do I want to change the mind of others. That is not my job nor is it my business. I can only act in my highest integrity and come from a place of loyalty and respect in all that I do. For me the most significant reminder has been to really focus on what matters most. I can’t change the chemical warfare in Syria and nor can I do anything for the children that have been doused with chemicals. Feeling anxious or nervous about a new job now seems so irrelevant.

I am not indicating that feelings are insignificant. In fact we have to allow them to vibrate through our being. When we shove them down they eventually transpire into something, somewhere along our path. The stuff that is happening is Syria leaves me feeling broken and a little helpless about the world. There is so much that I do feel especially when I see children suffering. I feel the grief of not having my own children, I feel that no human being should ever have to be exposed to that level of suffering and I feel the injustice.

So for now I can make a choice to own my mind and thoughts. I can either spend the day in suffering about what the morning has presented with or I can create a different awareness and ensure that I am living love and peace in all that I do. I may not be able to stop the war but as the lyrics of the Pearl Jam resonate I can evoke for myself that “I was born and I know that I’ll die
the in between is mine – I am mine” – Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxox

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVho74SDOis

25. The universe works on many principles that are beyond our control. They work independently of our opinion, and work even if we do not understand them

28. Dec
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Awareness, Change, Compassion, Guidance,
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No Comments

Christmas festivities have subsided for another year and the quite lull is welcoming. The season seems to provoke so much and with it an avalanche of emotions, good bad and indifferent. For some the empty chairs is what hits the hardest, for others the financial strain soars and the toxins we induce into our bodies aren’t always that great. But hey, Merry Christmas and HO HO HO! Me personally I can be the Grinch who stole Christmas and seriously doesn’t give a F&*K or I can sway to the peace and prosperity that the season brings. It all depends on which day you speak to me. I really dislike the emphasis that we seem to place on one day and the commercialism of it all. How about we don’t wait for one day to be happy and all things holly? How about we practise kindness and compassion every day?

Now please don’t take what I have to say as gospel as often what I am writing is also a reminder to myself? Do I practise kindness and compassion every day? Heck no! I don’t go out being a deliberate asshole but there are certainly times when I haven’t taken the time or respect to fill myself up with what I need so how can I possibly be doing it for others? It doesn’t mean I have to go into the story about it all rather recognising and having an awareness about what is happening for me not to me.

It has been a while since I have written my blog. Instead I have spent the most part of the year writing a book that has been in the making for almost 15 years. The book is primarily about suicide awareness and prevention, my own journey of mental illness and many roads of recovery. So when I read the affirmation for today a number of thoughts ran through my mind. I thought about Christmas and what it meant for me and then I began to reflect on what a year it has been. There is just so much! Where do we start really?

What I did notice most poignantly was that the “universe works on many principles” and indeed it does. There is so much focus on searching and looking for that one thing to make it better, for that one thing to make it right. All along everything we need is already inside of us we just have to work our way to find it. Sometimes the search is long and arduous and other times it can be magical and quick. Other times it flashes before our very eyes and sometimes it takes the wind out of us. Whatever it may be is right for you and what works best. We try so hard to please everybody else that we simply forget the most important aspect of self. That everything is perfectly imperfect just the way it is. If you want it to be different, choice is simple, make your own rules and create your own dance. The universe works on many principles that are beyond our control. They work independently of our opinion, and work even if we do not understand them. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoox

18. The Journey

The title of the affirmation today comes from a coffee shop that I am sitting in front of at the Gold Coast airport. I am waiting for a shuttle bus to pick me up so I can stay with my bff for a few days and I am so excited I may just wee myself! I usually take my affirmations with me when I go away but clearly I forgot. Instead of being regimented I decided to sit and write about whatever I was presented with and so here I am. There is something about packing a suitcase and heading to an airport that fills me with such excitement, so I suppose when I saw the words “The Journey” staring at me I took it as a sign to write some words.

Yes it is exciting getting on a plane and going to visit wonderful places or connecting with loved ones. What I truly love about travel are the experiences along the way that define and shape the journey for you as in life. I have had such beautiful connections on the way from Melbourne to Gold Coast in such a short time that it has whooshed me straight into my heart space. I make a conscious and deliberate action to be present and to be in the moment of what I am doing, unless I am reading or writing. Even as I wrote on the plane today the man seated next to me asked me what I was writing about and we spoke for a while. There was a lady who sat next to me for a short while and we somehow began speaking about Cambodia. In such a short amount of time I was speaking to complete strangers about two of my most passionate topics, suicide awareness and Cambodia.

So yes right now for me it is about getting on a plane and having a little adventure to Bryon Bay but it also allows me to reflect on so much more than that. It reminds me to be in the present moment and to be reminded about the magic and miracles that follow us each and every day. We always seem to be waiting for this or that to make our lives just right but what if they were perfect just the way it was right now. What is it that we are actually waiting for? We only have right now and we have so much of our precious lives to live.

I am always learning for if I stopped I may as will be dead. I am not perfect far from it in fact but what I do know it that I am imperfectly perfect just the way I am. We have a moral responsibility as we live on earth and at the very minimum to be loyal and compassionate to one another. To be in service where we are sharing our unique gifts and lead an authentic life with integrity. It truly doesn’t matter where you have been but it does matter where you are going. For me right now I am looking forward to many moments of magic and miracles as they follow my days. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste

11. Welcome to another glorious day.

I can’t help but feel for all the homeless people on Melbourne streets tonight. Today truly feels like winter and as I whinged and moaned about the cold I stopped. First world problems, walking a few 100 metres to get to a warm car, warm house, warm office. Outside right now is freezing. There is sadness for those who are spending tonight and many other countless nights on the streets not only in Melbourne but in so many parts of the world.

It would be easy to write about welcoming another glorious day. I wake up in a warm bed, switch my heater on, have a hot shower, fill my belly with nutritious food and start my day. How does someone who sleeps on the streets welcome another glorious day? The amount of resilience, strength and courage that is demonstrated for those “sleeping rough” is absolutely heroic. I have heard myself whinge when my ears slightly ache in the cold if I have forgotten to wear a beanie. I have been so blessed in my life with shelter, food and ALWAYS having somewhere to live. For so many others it is not the same.

It is not about feeling guilty or not deserving of what we do have, it is more about awareness of social justice, equality and freedom for all. We live in a country where homelessness should not exist. I don’t generally listen to the news but I have been intrigued by people’s comments, viewpoints about the recently reported “homelessness” issue. There is a notion that people who are “homeless” should take what they can get. When sleeping on the street is a safer option that a “rooming house” that is offered by the government, surely as a collective we can feel compassion.

There has been a lot of coverage of late in regards to the issue and of course the perception of solutions seems appropriate. I work in mental health and the housing system is in crisis overload. The housing that is offered is at times depressing and dangerous. I don’t feel it is fair to blame any one person or political party but perhaps more of an awareness of what responsibility I can have in creating change. I am involved in some local projects. The Period Project supports women with sanitary items and dignity. There are so many projects that can be supported, so many ways to create change.

I don’t have a definitive answer for homelessness in Melbourne yet alone the rest of the world. What I do know is awareness and personal responsibility that we have to each other. Over 6,000 young people are forced to either ‘couch surf’ or ‘sleep rough’ every night in Victoria. These figures only include young people, not to mention the countless others. So how do you welcome each and every day?

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

78. We are all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge and awareness we have.

The affirmation for today is one that comes to me at the perfect time. It is a reminder to be patient, kind and compassionate. A lesson that we can easily let slip by at the best of times. I have done a lot of work on self and the most freedom is that of personal responsibility especially when “stuff” is presented. Don’t get me wrong I am not claiming to be an enlightened guru that knows better than the next person, in fact I am learning more every single day. Quite frankly I would rather be learning than to be stale and righteous. What I am aware of and accept as part of my role as being human is personal responsibility and knowing that each situation that is presented is an opportunity to learn.

The last few weeks have been filled with growth. They have not been fun to say the least. What I have found is that there are times and situations where I just wish that individuals would take personal responsibility for their own “crap and insecurities”. When I am in “grumpy pants” mode my patience wears thin and I retreat into my head which in no fun at all. What my head is saying perhaps should not be translated to words that are actually delivered. Pretty sure it is better that way. As I continue to write I am stirred by the events. As much as I am willing to accept that we are all doing the best we can it also comes at a cost to humanity when people are simply mean and rude. It is not cool and my patience for those who don’t have awareness about personal responsibility really stirs my pot!

Now one could say that I am calling the kettle black and in some ways I certainly am. What I do know is that instead of blaming I am prepared to look within and facilitate for myself what my triggers are and where they have come from. What I do know is the crap that I was receiving and feeling were still parts of me that needed to heal from my past. It showed up in the most unexpected way and I am grateful to the person that delivered the lesson but it still doesn’t make it OK to be disrespectful.

So for me the affirmation reminds me about a couple of things. It is a reminder that the only person that has responsibility for the way we feel is self. Ultimately when we are triggered by another it is an opportunity to heal and grow from that experience. It is a timely reminder to be patient to those who act in ways that are not in alignment with love for they are still finding ways to love themselves. For me it also means that I now love myself enough to not take it personally and to know that my purpose it to live with a compassionate heart and to be of service. We are all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge and awareness we have. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxx

76. I am grown-up and comfortable enough to ask for what I want in positive ways.

Oh universe you are extremely funny with the affirmation that I have been presented with today. I certainly know this is a lesson that has been on the forefront for me especially in the last week or so. I generally don’t have an issue with telling people what I feel but there are certainly occasions where I find it more difficult. I also truly believe that if you do not deal with an issue that has presented itself to you then it just transpires somewhere else at another time in your life. Just as it has in this instance and I knew that if I didn’t deal with it would just reel its ugly head in one way or another.

I was confronted with another little life lesson of dealing with an individual whose behaviour was far from appropriate. My natural instinct was to inform them that were a complete and utter tool. Possibly not the best outcome for either of us and I know better. As much as it feels great to swear profanities at this person in my mind, I have to admit I find it somewhat soothing. Instead I have churned about what to do; I have deliberated, meditated on the issue and felt that I had come up with a solution. What I didn’t consider first and foremost was that I am a grown up. This is not to judge but simply to acknowledge that this was something for me to learn and grow from.

What I did recognise along the way was the fact that I wasn’t dealing with it was making me feel agitated and unsettled. I found myself to be reactive and restless in situations as the forefront of the issue was becoming more obvious and apparent. This is why I love personal responsibility and how powerful and creative we can actually be when we acknowledge that we are responsible for our own actions and outcomes. Whilst I did find some of the issues that I was confronted with absolutely ridiculous and not in alignment with my core values and beliefs I really had to ask myself “what was this really about?” Sure I could have gone on a tangent and reacted to the information that I was receiving and that would have alleviated my stress for about 5 whole minutes or I could be a grown up and be comfortable enough to ask for what I want.

So thank you for the reminder of the affirmation today. As it worked out the universe presented a perfect opportunity for me to say what I felt. I must admit there is still a small part of me that wants to tell this person what a tool they are (hey I never claimed to be perfect). What I do know is that when I am in my heart space, I know that my purpose at this time in my life is to live with a compassionate heart and be of service. Ego does get in the way for we are only human and this is truly the way we learn. Personal responsibility and taking action for what has been presented to us is magic. I am grown-up enough and comfortable enough to ask for what I want in positive ways. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxoxox

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